It’s funny, there are several things that have happened or happening that I used to care about passionately. I haven’t lost my passion, it is just being redirected. We had Scottish elections last week and for the first time since I was legible to vote, I didn’t. I have no excuse, I just didn’t bother, or couldn’t be bothered and just didn’t care. I would always be the first person to pull people up who didn’t bother and I still think everyone should vote or if they don’t they have no right to complain about the government. With what is going on in the middle east, north africa and china where thousands are dying for the right to vote it makes it even more shameful. I think in this day and age it should also be possible to vote online, the voting process is antiquated and a much higher percentage turnout would be achieved by making the process easier. There should also be much more accessible and understandable guides to each of the parties and candidates, what they represent, what their policies actually mean etc.

I have also stopped getting worked up or angry about things that are out with my control. I used to get annoyed when I lost out on projects, coming up with reasons why we haven’t been selected, blaming the bureaucracy involved or the senseless pre-qualification process. I just don’t care anymore, I won’t waste my time getting upset about it and will just continue to go for the projects I think would suit us and if we get them great, if not, i hope they get the right person and not just the one that can tick more boxes than the other. I was lucky enough to get to interview stage on a project very recently, I can’t ask for any more than that. It is a chance to put over exactly who you are and what you can do face to face and you are not just another name on a sheet of paper.

On May the 22nd 2005, I watched celtic capitulate to Motherwell and hand the Scottish Premier league title to Rangers. To say I was a bit upset would be an understatement. Today, I hoping that Rangers meet the same fate against Kilmarnock where they need to win to secure the title if celtic beat Motherwell at Parkhead. I have supported celtic all my life and would love them to win the title today, but, I cannot see myself getting as worked up as I did back in 2005 although i would love some rangers fans to feel that way. It is not just the change in my life perspective due to having cancer, it is the embarrassment to Scotland of the treatment of Neil Lennon which has tarnished my love of the game. I have listened to people tell me that Neil Lennon brings on the treatment he gets by his own actions. Someone even went on to explain how he is related to known IRA members and this is justification enough. It is also wrong that I actually feel uncomfortable speaking about the situation knowing that this is an open blog that anyone can read and may hold my comments against me, that is how ridiculous it is getting here in Scotland.

I am just out of my second chemotherapy session. The first night on Thursday was a bit uncomfortable. I had the chills and was sick twice, the first time I have been sick since getting out of hospital 8 weeks ago so it was a bit worrying for me. Blood was taken to ensure I haven’t picked up and infection but my temperature settled during the day and the rest of the treatment went ok. I took advantage of the excellent Friends of the Beatson with reflexology, an indian head massage and a haircut. I actually nodded off during the reflexology which was fantastic and really takes your mind off the chemo and most other things which is great even if it is for just a short period. It is a welcome break from the ward.

During my first chemo session and when I was in the Royal I was lucky enough to have a room to my self. This time I was in a 4 bed ward. There are pros and cons to both. It was me causing the disturbance on the first night being sick so I can’t really complain about anyone else. It was good at times to have some company and share experiences. It is good to be able to talk openly and frankly to other patients, some stories more encouraging than others. I cannot deny that it can be grim in there but I need to not let that effect me. It is a horrible disease, a seriously horrible disease and the sooner they can find a better way to tackle it the better. This is not a place to share the stories I heard, they are often very personal and generally quite tragic, there are many positive stories but mainly for the inpatients these are less common.

I have totally changed my diet now in order to do everything I can to combat the effects of the chemo and keep up my fitness levels to help my body fight. Now I have had 2 sessions I have a better idea of how I need to adjust my life to accommodate it. I am beginning to experience more of the side effects. I was running my hand under cold water yesterday and had the strangest tingling right through my fingers. It wasn’t like pins and needles, it was more like if you stuck your hand in the coldest deep freeze ever. It passed quickly but was quite weird. I think the sickness on the first night was a bad reaction to the chemo but I also suspect they may have missed one of my meds before hand which I will double check next time. It was a few days before I felt the fatigue really set in and I will watching that this week and making sure I don’t over do anything.

When I arrived home last night I had a letter from Lanarkshire NHS for a referral to the Monklands which is for the endoscopy I was supposed to be getting back in February!!! A bit pointless now. I also now have a Blue Badge which will make life a lot easier. Although I am mobile there are times I can’t walk very far after the chemo in particular and sometimes when out I need to get certain places pretty quickly! Maybe a bit too much information but I am keen to record these things to mark how i progress over time.

No mug shots this week but here is a pic I took on a quick visit to the museum of modern art in Glasgow. The main hall was shut due to the installation of a a new exhibition, the British Art Show which starts on 27th May and will also be at the Tramway and the CCA. May be worth a look if you like that sort of thing.

Glasgow Museum of Modern Art


5 Responses to “helicopters”

  1. May 15, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    hey jon-marc

    maybe you don’t have much of an appetite for now but if you do, remember that lunch in Delizique we were going to have? it’s still on.


    • 2 scarpadog
      May 15, 2011 at 7:11 pm

      thanks willie, will get intouch and sort out soon now I am settled in this regime, appetite doing ok so far

  2. May 15, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    Hey Jon! It’s good to read you are doing well. I was wondering why I did not see you make comments about your nation’s recent elections; now I know why.

    This post, you sound a bit apathetic…? Not sure if I like it… :\

    • 4 scarpadog
      May 15, 2011 at 7:09 pm

      I am resigned to years of tory rule from westminster and SNP ruling the roost in Scotland without any opposition. Between that and expenses scandals etc I have lost faith in most/all politicians and would find it hard to vote for someone i really believe in. Sad state of affairs but life goes on! Happy to get the book next if still time by the way?

  3. 5 Michele Carver
    May 18, 2011 at 6:12 am

    Jonny, keep up the good work. Love reading your blog, even if it sounds a bit grim at times. You have a great attitude. Hopefully the side effects will diminish with time. Thinking of you.
    Love Michele xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Flickr Photos

Recent Posts

rss feed


%d bloggers like this: