22
Aug
11

hurdles

Due to the nature of my cancer it was only a matter of time before something didn’t go quite to plan. The results of my scan today at first looked promising as I skim read the report in front of my consultant oncolgist upside down. I have several tumors all of which seemed to show an ever so slight reduction in size and I was quite relieved, however, as my doctor went through report is seems an area of seedlings in my peritoneum, which is a membrane which lines the abdominal cavity, are showing signs of growth which unfortunately means I need to come off the treatment I have been receiving and move onto another form of chemotherapy.

I am trying to be as positive as I can but it is definitely my first main setback. I am feeling down about it today but I will be back fighting tomorrow. Sometimes you just need some time to let these things sink in and take time to regroup and assess what the next plan of action is. I want to be as honest as possible in this blog so sometimes it is going to be grim, you’ve been warned!

Apart from my own problems the world seems to have gone a bit mad in the past few weeks. Everyone seems to have something to say about the riots and with the massive media bombardment of CCTV coverage and debate shows I have listened to a lot of different arguments over why this happened and where the fault lies. The over-riding opinion is of widespread condemnation and on the whole I certainly share this view. I need to try not to be hypocritical as many years ago I was involved in protests against the student loans where I learned how easy it can be to get carried away in the heat of something which seemed to mean a lot to me at the time. The difference with the recent riots is that I see no political agenda in anything that has happened. One rioter was interviewed stating that she had no qualms about who she was robbing as these were all rich business owners who could afford to be robbed. I am a business owner and for a start, I am not rich, secondly, I have been robbed, and, even insured there are things that cannot be replaced. There is disruption and upset that can never be recompensed by insurance companies. Also, probably like many of the business owners affected and especially the 144 year old House of Reeves furniture business, I have spent years of hard work and 11 years in the higher education system getting a business to a level where I can make an honest living only to be decimated by the global recession.

There is no excuse for stealing, burning people’s homes and wrecking the streets of your own city. There seems to be a need and desire for instant wealth, celebrity and success without the years of hard work that used to be the accepted method of doing something with your life. Our country is obsessed with reality shows and talent shows that seem to be the accepted method of becoming a celebrity and making it in life. The current ‘celebrity’ big brother is a great example of this, full of reality show refugees. As those that know me well enough will be aware, I have been partial to watching Big Brother and actually enjoying it. I have also watched the pop idol or x-factor from time to time but can never say I have found the experience enjoyable and with my illness keeping me in much more on a saturday night than I am used to or like, I am scared I will get drawn into watching this rubbish even more. If everyone that stayed in on a saturday night to watch x-factor went out for something to eat or drink maybe this industry sector wouldn’t be struggling as much and maybe folk would enjoy themselves and talk to one another instead of paying to vote for whoever takes their fancy this year.

With Big Brother, I liked the concept and in the early years the contestants seemed to be on there out of curiosity of being involved in some sort of experiment but by series 4 I think things began to change with contestants being chosen to try to shock viewers by their outrageous behaviour and by their longer term star potential although I think there have been very few who have achieved very much.

Enough of my ranting though, I have plenty to worry about without ranting about tv. Since my last post I have been to a wedding in the church in Luss which is quite wonderful if you ever get a chance to stop and have a look inside. Luckily with my recent weight loss my kilt still fits me and I dressed traditionally although I am short of photos in my full regalia.

lodge in the loch, august 2011

The reception was held in The Lodge on the Loch on Loch Lomond and is a great venue with sweeping views of the loch. I was able to sneak a rest in our room between the meal and the band starting which let me last all the way to the traditional rendition of Runrigs Loch Lomond at the end of the night.

With Julie a bit worse for wear the next day we headed round to Campbeltown to visit her Gran. We drove out to the Mull of Kintyre with spectacular views all the way to Ireland. I couldn’t tackle the walk all the way down a winding road to the lighthouse but walked far enough to get the best views on a surprisingly dryish day! Also surprising was I had the best phone reception on the peninsula here.

me on the phone to big bruv steve with mull of kintyre lighthouse beyond

Other news involves a nice new project at work, planning submitted for my own new house and a wee holiday and wedding to go to in Portugal next month which I am seriously looking forward to! The setback with the treatment is a bit more of a shock to me as I was starting to get a bit more normality back to my life with my treatment now at home and I had managed back to a GIA council meeting and a visit to lanarkshire business group, both for the first time since I was in hospital. Nearly everyone remarked how much better I looked, I know they wouldn’t say I look awful but I genuinely feel better and have put weight on and certainly look better than before I went into hospital!

casa scarpadog

Writing this helps me think better and more positively. It clears my mind to consider what is happening and what I need to do next and how I can prepare to cope with it. I have great support from my family, friends and Julie and nothing is too much trouble for them. Sometimes it just helps me to write and rant on my own!

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13 Responses to “hurdles”


  1. 1 Graeme Muir
    August 22, 2011 at 8:36 pm

    Hi John not so good news but I know you will back fighting tomorrow and what are you doing taking up gardening in a church or was it a wedding….lol….who am i to tell you how to splel Graeme

  2. August 22, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    Great post Jonny. Keep up the good work.

  3. August 23, 2011 at 3:39 am

    Very good blog with interesting ideas and content!

  4. August 23, 2011 at 6:42 am

    It’s understandable for you to be disappointed about the set back in your fight against cancer. You’re human. It’s better to express these feelings as opposed to keeping them in. Your honesty is admirable. Keep it up; the writing and the fight.

  5. August 23, 2011 at 8:06 am

    If

    If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;
    If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
    Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

    If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
    If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
    If you can meet with triumph and disaster
    And treat those two imposters just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
    And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools;

    If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breath a word about your loss;
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –
    Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
    And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

    Rudyard Kipling

  6. August 23, 2011 at 8:52 am

    What a lovely man you are to even start to think and reflect on the modern world’s malaise when you have so much on your own plate. I couldn’t agree more on your comments about our obsession with celebrity and the smoke and mirrors that the media feeds to our youngsters. Where is the virtue in being ordinary! Ordinary is wonderful and something my organisation aspires to for a lot of kids who crave ‘normal’. ..my despair arising from all the media explosion around the riots is that as predicted, young people are problematised and seen as a homogenous group of what my Dad would have called ‘yobbos’!

    Good luck with the next steps. Everyone here at StreetInvest is routing for you.
    Felix ( friend of your lovely papa’s)

  7. 11 Michele Carver
    August 25, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    Hey big guy, Lets hope the next treatment will be better. You are looking good. Loved the blog as always. You should look into journalism, in your spare time! Keep up the good fight.
    Love Michele xxxxxxxxx

  8. 12 Caroline
    August 27, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    Hi jon marc, am following your blog, but with a family like ours I am getting regular updates, but like reading your updates. Sorry that the news from last scan is not as good as u had hoped but hopefully a change in treatment will help. Read about your visit to uncle john and is shocking to think i have never visited either!! One day..
    Anyway am thinking about you and following ur updates. Take care and remember the invite to the great caley is open!!
    Love
    Caroline x

  9. September 2, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    Always an honour to read your blogs JM I hope the next phase is more positive for you. Always in our thoughts xx


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